This is the final part of My Story in the Water. In the earlier chapters, the journey moved from the safe waters of childhood into the early years of adulthood, where water and teaching began to take on a new meaning. In this closing part, I return to the moment when I finally chose to listen to myself — the moment that quietly led to the beginning of Vedessä.
🌊When I Chose Myself
When I look back, I see a path that was anything but straight. It was full of turns, pauses, and moments when I had no idea which direction to take. Yet one thing stayed with me the whole time. Water. And teaching.
They were like two quiet forces that carried me when I couldn’t carry myself.
The Harshness of Desk Work and the Pressure to Perform
I wanted so badly to be a programmer. I wanted to create solutions that people could use in their everyday lives. The idea of building something concrete and useful felt exciting. But software development is not streamlined. It is full of details, unexpected problems, and constant learning. It comes with a lot of pressure, especially performance pressure.
Looking back, I realise that I created most of that pressure myself. I wanted to be good. I wanted to succeed. I wanted to prove that I could do it. And even though the work gave me stability and a steady income, it also took something important from me. It took my grounding. It took my joy.
Still, I believe those skills were not wasted. Maybe one day I will use them again in a new way. Maybe in the future I will create my own swim‑learning app to support my students’ practice. That time will come later, when the path is ready.
💙 A Small Return to Synchronized Swimming and the Spark of Hope
In the middle of everything, I happened to find an adult synchronized swimming group. It felt almost like fate, as if the water was whispering that it was time to return, even briefly, to where it all began. The group was surprisingly large and warm‑hearted, and for the first time, I got to create team routines just for fun. Still, a small part of me hoped that maybe one day we could perform them somewhere, too.
I attended weekly practices with other like‑minded adults. We learned and revisited skills I had almost forgotten after a twenty‑year break. It was incredible to notice how the body remembered things the mind no longer did. It brought joy, lightness, and a feeling that something inside me was waking up again.
I was able to be part of the group for four years, until training space in Oulu ran out after one of the swimming halls closed. It felt bittersweet, but not final. I still carry a strong hope that I will return to synchronized swimming again when the new hall eventually opens.
The Idea of an Easier Job – and the Truth Behind It
As my exhaustion deepened, I decided to resign. I thought lifeguarding would be lighter. I thought it would be a break. I thought it would be easier than constant performance.
But I was wrong.
Lifeguarding doesn’t require the same kind of mental load, but shift work is heavy. It takes away rhythm, recovery and the ability to build your own life. Last spring was especially difficult. Because of pool arrangements, I couldn’t teach my own classes at all. It felt like the part of my work that kept me afloat had been taken away.
And yet, deep down, I knew this phase was part of the journey. It forced me to look at myself honestly. It forced me to ask what I truly wanted to do.
Returning to Teaching, and the Relief That Filled My Whole Body
When autumn came and I got my classes back, I felt an enormous sense of relief. It was like coming home. Teaching adults brought back the feeling I had known years earlier. The feeling that this is where I am at my best. This is where I am myself.
Teaching wasn’t just work. It was a place where I could be present. A place where I could help. A place where I could watch people grow and overcome their fears. It was a place where I could grow, too.
🌊 Vedessä – A Business Born From the Heart
When all the pieces finally fell into place, I understood something important. I don’t have to choose a path that doesn’t feel like mine. I don’t have to fit into a mold. I am allowed to build my own way.
That is how Vedessä was born.
It is not just a business. It is a calling. It is a place where all the things that have been with me since childhood come together: water, teaching, safety, empathy, and the desire to help adults find their own strength.
Vedessä is a continuation of my story. And at the same time, it is a place where other people’s stories can begin.
🌤️ This Is Only the Beginning
This blog series ends here, but the story doesn’t. It continues in every learner, every encounter, and every moment when someone dares to take their first step toward the water.
And I get to be there with them and with you.
Do you want to know more about our upcoming courses? Join our newsletter.
